Tonight as I am cuddled indoors, despite the white carpet that covers my garden, I am drawn to dwelling on moments. I believe that tiny moments shape our thinking and out lives. This morning as I waited in a cold garage while my front tires were changed I realized that over in Kent, four time zones away, my eldest cousin was being buried. (One of the many drawbacks to having family so far away is that at times like this, one cannot connect as one should. I'm an Army Brat and have accepted this. I have no choice.)
But I digress..,
I spoke of moments. Because I have so few memories of my youth, I've been making an attempt lately to focus on trying to capture specific moments as they happen. My theory is that if I decide to record a moment, then I might draw attention to it, as with an invisible highlighting pen, and my brain will file it in a place that I can later retrieve it. It seems to me that emotion plays a huge role in memory. I've had an emotional few months and thus will likely have many memories to draw on from this time when I look back from the future. Why then, are there so few things I can recall from when I was young? Was I not experiencing any strong emotions? Was my life simple and happy? Was I content to exist without questioning anything? My sister talks of so many events that we obviously shared, but of which I have no recollection. I'm amazed, yet stupefied at this. I enjoy her stories, yet truly wish I could participate in the remembrance of those times. I must ask my brother when he visits tomorrow, what are his thoughts on this and our shared past.
I had gone to school on Monday afternoon to meet a student for our last session before the Christmas break. When I got in my car, I drove a few metres before realizing something was wrong. I got out in the rain and looked at my tires, discovering a flat on the right front passenger side. Luckily CAA came to my rescue and I hobbled home with my spare on. The next day I awoke to snow everywhere and school closures being announced on the radio. "Stay off the roads!" was the message, so I waited it out.
When I was in the garage this morning and rocking back and forth to stay warm, I pulled out a library book from the front seat of my car. (I seem to always have reading material to hand.) Christmas music was blaring from a radio and I found it difficult to concentrate on reading the words on the page, being such a strongly auditory person. As I waited, the two attendants analyzed each of the tires brought to them and turned down five in a row before they were satisfied that they had two that would suffice. The manageress poked her head in the door several times and eventually asked me to pay. I suppose she was worried that business was running behind, but it wasn't my fault, thank goodness. I watched the entire process and was suitably impressed by the balletic movements and professional thoroughness those men went through. I drove home with two winter tires on the front and 2 all seasons on the rear. Fingers crossed.....
But I digress..,
I spoke of moments. Because I have so few memories of my youth, I've been making an attempt lately to focus on trying to capture specific moments as they happen. My theory is that if I decide to record a moment, then I might draw attention to it, as with an invisible highlighting pen, and my brain will file it in a place that I can later retrieve it. It seems to me that emotion plays a huge role in memory. I've had an emotional few months and thus will likely have many memories to draw on from this time when I look back from the future. Why then, are there so few things I can recall from when I was young? Was I not experiencing any strong emotions? Was my life simple and happy? Was I content to exist without questioning anything? My sister talks of so many events that we obviously shared, but of which I have no recollection. I'm amazed, yet stupefied at this. I enjoy her stories, yet truly wish I could participate in the remembrance of those times. I must ask my brother when he visits tomorrow, what are his thoughts on this and our shared past.
I had gone to school on Monday afternoon to meet a student for our last session before the Christmas break. When I got in my car, I drove a few metres before realizing something was wrong. I got out in the rain and looked at my tires, discovering a flat on the right front passenger side. Luckily CAA came to my rescue and I hobbled home with my spare on. The next day I awoke to snow everywhere and school closures being announced on the radio. "Stay off the roads!" was the message, so I waited it out.
When I was in the garage this morning and rocking back and forth to stay warm, I pulled out a library book from the front seat of my car. (I seem to always have reading material to hand.) Christmas music was blaring from a radio and I found it difficult to concentrate on reading the words on the page, being such a strongly auditory person. As I waited, the two attendants analyzed each of the tires brought to them and turned down five in a row before they were satisfied that they had two that would suffice. The manageress poked her head in the door several times and eventually asked me to pay. I suppose she was worried that business was running behind, but it wasn't my fault, thank goodness. I watched the entire process and was suitably impressed by the balletic movements and professional thoroughness those men went through. I drove home with two winter tires on the front and 2 all seasons on the rear. Fingers crossed.....
This is where I sit every morning and greet the day with a cup of tea and usually a crossword if I'm lucky. I'm looking forward to having staggered visits with family over the next two weeks, starting with Sean and Kandi tonight until Saturday, then on Sunday, Madi with Chris overlapping her for a couple days arriving on Boxing Day. She'll stay through NYD for the levees and I already have tickets for us to attend the NYE dance at the Armdale Yacht Club!!
Season's Greeting to you and all your loved ones, xoxoxo
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